I’d like to think that Z was the One that Got Away but He Never Arrived at the First Place.
We met a chatroom (cue: collective groans and muffled “oooh one of those”).
We hit it off over our song choices (OK OK OK OK It’s a smarmy entry, shuddup already).
I was seeing this jerk of a guy then (another story, another blog entry) and obviously, was deprived of any attention. So Z’s conversations and chats (which later graduated to phone conversations which later graduated from how-are-yous to I-think-I-like-yous).
He was this guy in a band with an album out. Oh wow. A guy in a band with an album out fancied me.
(OK so we haven’t met).
We were supposed to meet – he was supposed to meet me at the airport when I came home after graduation but he went quiet. Months later, I found out that he was playing at some hotel in Kuching or something.
We were supposed to meet but it was not meant to be. We last spoke to each other er, in 2000? When he wished me Happy Valentines Day. Then I sort of gave up on hoping and wanting and wishing and moved on (albeit, painfully).
Weird I felt so much connection for a guy whom, up to this day, have yet to meet.
He resurfaced some years back – maybe mid-2000s? Where he called a mutual friend and asked about me. She also let it on to me later that he fessed up he fancied me – he was in love with me but decided not to pursue because he was a mere musician and me this supposedly law-grad from UK.
Pfbth. If only he knew.
I did feel miffed at that mutual friend – if ONLY she had told me earlier, could things have changed? Could we be an item? Could we have at least met and get him out of my system?
He comes in and out of my memory sometimes. I still wonder what he does and how he is. We met pre-FB/free-email days so I have no idea how to contact him. My only mutual connection to him does not have his number. He only have my friend’s mom’s number.
Until today, my colleague said his brother in law was in a band where Z sometimes play in.
And that Z went into the docks for drugs before.
Sad how things work out. Wonder if it’d be different if we have met.